


Casey vs the Dead Daughter

by orphan_account



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Awkward Chuck, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, alex is dead, big mike is surprisingly helpful, casey actually has feelings holy shit, casey has panic attacks, casey has ptsd, comforting chuck, don't tell sarah, morgan is kinda clueless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13094949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I guess you could say Casey is coming to terms with Alex's death...





	1. Chapter 1

"What the hell is goin' on in here?!"  
Morgan looked up. He was sitting on the floor beside a trembling John Casey. "Big Mike! There's something wrong with Casey, he won't talk to me and-"  
"Of course there's something wrong with him, he's having a panic attack! What I meant was, are you really such a moron that you haven't figured out the one way to help him? BARTOWSKI! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"  
About ten seconds later, a breathless Chuck was running into the room. "Yes, I am here, Chuck Bartowski reporting for duty, what's happening?"  
"Take care o' your boyfriend. Morgan, get back to work."  
"Yes sir." Morgan ran off. Chuck knelt down beside Casey.  
"Hey. Hey, look at me. John. Look at me. Good." He gently kissed Casey's forehead. "Shhh. It's okay. I'm here." Chuck, if he was being completely honest with himself, was bullshitting his way through this. Casey hadn't exactly responded well to the news of his daughter's death, but this had never happened before. "Just try to breathe..." He was on the verge of panic himself. He didn't know how to handle a normal person having a panic attack, let alone Casey!  
Big Mike grabbed Chuck by the tie. "Pull yourself together, Bartowski."  
"I, uh... I should probably take him home." He helped Casey to his feet, practically carrying him out of the store.

But they didn't go home. Where they did go was Ellie's house. Chuck (who usually obeyed the speed limit at all costs), somehow managed to get them there in under a minute.  
Ellie opened the door to see a very exhausted Chuck supporting Casey, who looked like he was about to collapse. "Oh my god! What happened, is he hurt?"  
"Where's Devon?"  
"In the living room, but-"  
"DEVON!"  
"Damn, Chuck. I'm not deaf, no need to yell. What's happening?"  
Ellie sighed. "Something's wrong with John, apparently, and Chuck won't tell me what's going on! Oh god, do you think he's been shot? Stabbed? Poisoned?"  
Devon glanced at Chuck and Casey. "Calm down, he's just having a panic attack. Here, let's get him to the couch." He helped Chuck get Casey over to the couch. "Do you know what triggered it?"  
"No idea, it happened at the Buymore... I didn't know what to do but I figured you might, so I brought him here... can you help him? I hate seeing him like this..."  
Devon sighed. "All we can really do is wait it out... It might help if you talk to him, though. Sometimes it can be comforting to hear the voice of someone you love."  
"O-okay..." He sat down beside Casey, who seemed to be getting worse. "John? I'm here, babe. It's me. It's Chuck."  
"Chuck..." Casey murmured.  
"Yeah, that's right. Chuck. Love of your life, constant pain in your ass... that's me." He gently squeezed Casey's hand. Casey squeezed back.  
"Chuck.. thank you." He gave a weak smile to indicate that he was okay now. Chuck looked at Devon, as if asking what to do.  
"We should let him rest, he must be exhausted. Ellie, can you take him to the guest room?"  
"Uh, yeah, sure."  
"Thanks babe. Chuck, stay here, I want to talk to you."

"And you really have no idea what caused it?"  
"I wasn't even there when it started... all I know is that it's the first time this has happened."  
Devon sighed. "It probably has something to do with Alex dying..."  
"Yeah... I don't think anything else could have broken him like this... is there any way you can help him?"  
"I mean... I can be there if this happens again, but that's about it."  
"Well... thank you. It hurts to see him so upset..."  
"I know. But he'll be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

"CASEY! Take the shot!" Sarah yelled.  
But Casey was frozen. It didn't take Chuck long to figure out what was going on. "Oh god, not now..." He did the first thing he could think of. He grabbed Casey's gun and took the shot. He hadn't had time to flash... so the fact that it actually hit was surprising.  
Sarah looked over at them, eyes widening when she saw Chuck holding the gun. "Chuck! Good job, but, uh... I'm sure Casey could have handled it."  
"Casey was, um... temporarily incapacitated." Then he whispered to Casey, "you okay, babe?"  
"N-not really..." Casey whispered back, his voice breaking at the end. "...Chuck? Please... d-don't tell Sarah..." He was already shaking badly, this one was gonna be bad.  
Sarah was heading over to them. Chuck quickly wiped some blood from his face and smeared it on Casey's shirt. "He's been shot, he needs to get to the hospital."  
"Chuck, in case you didn't notice, the mission isn't over."  
"Sarah... He'll die. And he would just slow us down..."  
"Fine. You take him to the hospital, I'll finish up here."  
Chuck helped Casey up, taking him outside as quickly as he could, calling Devon on the way.  
"Please tell me you're nearby."  
"Chuck, why the hell would I be anywhere near you right now?"  
"I-I don't know, I just.."  
"Is it Casey again?"  
"Yes, and we're kind of on a mission... I told Sarah he got shot to get us out... I don't know what to do..."  
"Just talk to him. Hold him, if that's what he needs. Trust me, it'll be okay."  
"Okay... um... thanks, Devon." He quickly got Casey into the car. "I'm just gonna take you back to Castle, okay?"  
Casey shook his head, latching onto Chuck and clinging to him. Chuck was a bit startled. Even the last time he had a panic attack, he wasn't this... well... clingy. "H-help me.."  
"O-okay. It's okay, I'm right here." He pulled the trembling Casey up onto his lap, gently rubbing his back. "Shhh. Just try to breathe, babe. You're okay. Nothing can hurt you, I promise."  
"Alex! My girl... they killed her!" Casey sobbed. Chuck held him close.   
"Shhh. I know. I know. I'm so sorry."  
"CHUCK!"  
Chuck looked up to see a very angry Sarah. "Um... Hi."  
"I couldn't help but notice that you are not taking Casey to the hospital... You jeopardized our mission to do what? Cuddle? Make out? Have sex?"  
"Sarah, it's not what it looks like."  
"Then what is it?! Huh?"  
"It's... um... uh..."  
"That's what I thought."  
"No! Sarah, please..." Casey was shaking again. Chuck gently stroked his hair, trying to calm him.  
"What?! I get it, you wanted some time with your boyfriend. Don't think I won't tell Beckman about this! I-"  
"Sarah he's having a panic attack!"  
"What?!"  
"Yes. Now please stop yelling, I think you're upsetting him."  
"Why didn't you just tell me?"  
"He... he asked me not to... John?! Babe, look at me. Please, try to breathe." Casey was struggling to breathe, clinging to Chuck so tightly that it hurt. He just held him closer, rubbing his back comfortingly. "You just gotta wait it out, babe. It'll be over soon." He hoped that he didn't sound as terrified as he felt.  
Sarah sighed. "I'm so sorry... I had no idea... has this happened before?"  
"Yeah.. it happened the other day at the Buymore..."  
"Well, uh, what did you do then?"  
"What do you think?! I took him to Devon!"  
She sighed again. "Is it... is it because of Alex?"  
At the sound of his daughter's name, Casey's grip on Chuck tightened. Chuck just nodded.  
"Of course it is... nothing else could have done this to him. Come on, let's get him back to Castle. He needs to rest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am completely aware of the fact that I am a shitty writer, so any constructive criticism on this would be extremely welcome


	3. Chapter 3

"Dude, where the hell is Casey?"  
Morgan scooted away from Lester a bit. "He... he got sick the other day, he's probably at home - or maybe he's right here. Hey there, John! Johnny! Johnny boy!"  
"It's Casey," the agent growled.  
"Right. Of course. Casey. Are you... uh... feeling any better?"  
"As a matter of fact, I am. Quite a bit, actually.. Hey Morgan, can we talk? Alone?"   
"Sure thing, Casey."

"Morgan, you cannot tell anyone what really happened to me. If you do, I will cut your tongue out and feed it to you while I pull your still-beating heart out of your chest."  
"Hey, don't worry. I've been telling everyone that you got sick... glad to see that the old Casey's back."  
Casey actually cracked a smile. "Thanks, Morgan."  
"Hey, um... what exactly did happen to you, anyway? It looked pretty bad... You alright, man?"  
"...I had a panic attack. My anxiety levels have skyrocketed since Alex died... And in all honesty.. no. I'm pretty fucking far from alright. My daughter is dead, I'm having panic attacks, Chuck has been forced to take care of me... I've never felt worse in my life. But that's okay. Chuck won't have to deal with me much longer."  
"Oh my god... Casey, if you're planning to break up with him... he'd be devastated. Please... don't dump him."  
"I'm not dumping him. I'm leaving."  
"Leaving? When?"  
"Tonight."  
"How long will you be gone?"  
"...forever."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a suicide attempt in this chapter

"Chuck!"  
"Hey Morgan! What's up?"  
"...it's about Casey."  
"Oh my god, is he okay? Is he having another panic attack? Where is he?"  
"He said... he said that he was leaving tonight. And that he wouldn't be coming back."  
"Did he say where he was going?"  
"Chuck... that's the thing. I don't think he meant he was gonna hop on a plane. I think... I think he's planning to kill himself."  
"Morgan, that's not funny."  
"It's not a joke, Chuck. He's in a really bad place... he said something about not wanting you to have to put up with him."  
"Oh god... where is he?"  
"I think he went home."  
"And you let him go?! You fucking dumbass!" Chuck started to run out of the store.  
"Where the hell do you think you're going, Bartowski?!"  
"So sorry, Big Mike, but my boyfriend is about to commit suicide and I have to stop him."

"Babe?" The door wasn't locked... Casey always locked the door. Something was very wrong... Oh god. Guns... Casey had a lot of guns. If he wanted to kill himself, it wouldn't be hard. "It's me... it's Chuck." He opened the door to Casey's bedroom... and what he saw almost made him puke.  
Casey was lying on the floor, wrists slit and bleeding heavily. Chuck quickly bandaged the wounds, relieved when Casey started to wake up.. He hugged him tightly.  
"...Chuck?"  
"Shhh. I'm here. It's all okay now. Please, don't ever try this again, okay?"  
"O-okay.... I'm so sorry"

Devon sat down beside Casey. "I have one question..."  
"You want to know why I didn't just shoot myself."  
"Yeah."  
"Well... I wanted to suffer. I deserved it, for letting Alex die. And I didn't want to scare the neighbors... they would hear the gunshot. And I think... I think maybe a part of me wanted to be saved."  
Ellie was just getting home. "Hi John!"  
"Hey Ellie. Chuck and I were just leaving, sorry to intrude..."  
"No need to go! Really. By all means, stay for dinner.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah! It'll be fun."  
Chuck stood up. "Hey, Sis. Can I see you in the other room real quick?"

"Ellie, John, um... earlier today, he... he tried to kill himself."  
"WHAT?!"  
"Keep it down!"  
"Sorry... oh my god, poor thing. Is he okay?"  
"Well... he's alive, obviously, and physically fine. But... his mental state just keeps getting worse.... I'm scared, Ellie. Fuck, I'm terrified... what if I lose him?"  
"You won't lose him, Chuck. I promise."


End file.
